Learning to be a stay-at-home mom…
I was working an 8-5 Monday-Friday job. I was progressing at work, learning new things, and actually enjoyed my job, some days. I worked with mostly great people and we had fun on a daily basis. Then what I have always dreamed of happening, happened. I was EXPECTING! The best feeling I have ever felt! My husband and I were so HAPPY!
During most of the months of my 9 month sentence, I kept working. It wasn’t bad at all since I worked in the A.C. and sat at a desk all day. Didn’t help my ass any sitting at that desk cause it got HUGE! But I do have to say now that I’ve had a kid I gots me one of those big booties and I like it, stretch marks and all!
At about 8.5 months I started swelling super bad and was just so tired so I went ahead and took my maternity leave. Thanks to my wonderful bosses at the time they completely understood, as they seen how HUGE I was. No really look…
Okay maybe I’m exaggerating but at the time I felt huge.
During my leave, my husband and I contemplated the idea of me becoming a stay at home mommy. We were both unsure so we said we will play it by ear and see how it goes when our precious angel makes his arrival.
June 29th around 2ish I became a mommy. Let me tell you, the feeling is indescribable.
After a few weeks of having Tidus, my husband and I decided it was best for me to become a SAHM. I was excited, I haven’t not worked since I was 15! My thought process: I get to be home all day with my favorite little person, not have to worry about waking up in the mornings, I have all day to do what I want, I don’t have to worry about if I am going to be in a meeting or on the phone when I have to take a shit, and so many more amazing things!
…fast forward 2 years…
I am still a SAHM to a little hellion who I love spending every minute with, some days. Thank God my child loves sleep as much as I do, so I do get to sleep in. I don’t often get to do what I want, I do what my toddler wants. I now have a toddler trying to wipe my ass when I take a shit.
Awesome. (Sarcastic awesome for those who don’t get it.)
Now I do not want anyone to think I absolutely HATE being a stay at home mommy because I don’t. I am very blessed to be able to be with my son during the most precious moments of his life. I also don’t want to talk anyone out of being a stay at home mommy because it is truly amazing but if you can’t handle the bad with the good then umm… I’m sorry because here we gooooo…
Stay at home mommy is not just being at home being a mommy. It also comes with other things we are expected to do like cleaning, keeping clothes washed, dinner ready, animals fed, bills paid, grocery shopping, and whatever else that needs to be done. Me personally, I did these things when I used to work and I didn’t often get overwhelmed. Now that I do these things while being a mommy I get overwhelmed EVERYDAY. That room I just cleaned is a mess in 1.2 seconds, every time I fold a shirt it gets unfolded and that large pile of clothes just got knocked over, cooking used to be fun now it’s, “oh shit! I forgot to lay something out!”, my poor animals don’t nearly get the attention they used to get (they aren’t neglected though), and grocery shopping especially at wal-mart is dreaded every single week.
There are many things I had to learn and still learning when I became a SAHM.
Simply staying at home. This is one of the hardest parts for me. I was always used to going where I wanted when I wanted and doing what I wanted when I wanted. I had to learn to work around another human beings schedule. For example, going shopping. Used to, I could just get in my car and go but now, I have to make sure I have 10 snacks, a box of stickers, cup, diaper, change of clothes, patience for when the temper tantrum happens (it WILL happen), 15 different toys, a full charge on my phone, and 20 quarters for the riding machines.
Going with the flow. For example, those days you had plans to get up and get things done by a certain time or be somewhere by a certain time and that’s the day your child has decided to wake up and take a shit and smear it all over his crib or your child woke up and decided that today’s the day he is going to act like the spawn of Satan. Or, you walk into your childs room and find this..
Enjoy the little things. This is kind of related to the previous lesson but also a very important lesson. I have always been the type to GO, GO, GO but as I have learned having a kid that’s a big NO, NO, NO! Stopping and letting him be a kid by jumping in that mud puddle or stopping and enjoying the fireflies that he is so amazed by or answering “whats that?” for the 50th time is all apart of the “little things” . Of course there are so many more things to just stop and enjoy with and without your child so try not to move through life so fast and always stop to look at the flowers.
My final lesson
Find something for you. This has been my biggest struggle. Being used to working and having something that stimulated my brain and then not having that caused me to feel lost. I felt as if I had no purpose or I was just moving day by day doing the same thing everyday. I loved having a purpose and I loved seeing my accomplishments. Of course I knew my purpose was to be a mommy but this was a different purpose I was yearning for. I was used to having that interaction with someone that didn’t expect me to change their diapers. I started to feel this way about a year after being a SAHM. It sent me into a depression. By far, the hardest thing I have ever experienced/experiencing. It got to the point I decided I was going to go back to work. I reached out to that awesome job I spoke about before and they graciously took me back. I went my first day and it was good, everyone was awesome but still something didn’t feel right. I missed my son. TERRIBLY! I got home and cried until I went to bed that night. I couldn’t explain why I was crying. I didn’t know what was wrong, I got the job I wanted and the hours but, it wasn’t what I wanted. I thought going back to what used to make me happy would make me happy again but I was even more depressed because I knew those days I was going to be away from my son and constantly wondered what he was doing. So I quit. Yes, I quit after the first day. I didn’t know what to do at this point. I had no clue what I was going to do to help me get out of this funk. Then my husband recommended blogging. I’ve thought about it before but never thought I could do it especially with all the many AMAZING mom blogs already out there. But here I am, giving it a shot. It is nowhere near perfect and always has something that could be better but I feel as though I have something for me. Something I can call my own. Something that stimulates my brain. Something that makes me happy. So find that something for you. Don’t be afraid to take a chance.
You can never “learn” to be a stay at home mommy. Being a stay at home mommy is different for each mommy so do what is best for you and your family! The saying, “if mom isn’t happy, nobody is happy” is very true so be sure to make time for you, as hard as it can be sometimes.
Also, not everyone has the privilege to stay at home so applause to those working moms, you guys are awesome-sauce!
Moms! Let us stick together and teach each other what we have learned and lets share the struggles we face and stop trying to be those “perfect moms”!
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