TODDLERS AIN’T EASY

Being a being parent is awesome but damn, it is the HARDEST job you will EVER HAVE! Being a parent to a toddler is the HARDEST part of your life sentence with these kids, especially if your a stay at home mom or a stay at home dad.

 

  • Cleaning up spilled juice over and over again.
  • Digging something out of their mouth for the 150th time and asking WHAT’S IN YOUR MOUTH? WHAT. IS. IN. YOUR. MOUTH?! Looking like a dentist checking for cavities. Forcing them to open their mouth.
  • Telling them to go play with the 500 toys they have instead of hanging on your leg.
  • They are playing too quietly in their room. So you sneak around the corner so they won’t see you to make sure their not doing anything bad because if they see you they will stop playing and be right back at your feet.
  • Chasing them around with diaper and wipes while they laugh as hard as they can and your screaming “Shit is gonna fall out of your diaper!”
  • Pretending to sleep standing up because you go check on them at night and they move.

Are just a few things that happen on a everyday basis. For those of you who haven’t gotten to this part yet here is a look into a day with a toddler.

Morning…

  • Kid still sleeping and you just love them so much. They are the most Precious thing in the world.
  • Kid wakes up, still the cutest thing you have ever seen. That smile when you see them in the morning is the best thing ever!

  • ALL HELL HAS BROKE LOOSE!
  • You make him/her 3 different kind of breakfast’s, because they all of a sudden woke up and hated EVERYTHING they used to love!
  • TANTRUMS BECAUSE HE/SHE CAN’T THROW HIS/HER FOOD ON THE FLOOR, ANOTHER TANTRUM BECAUSE HE/SHE CAN’T NOSE DIVE OFF THE TABLE, AND THAT CLEAN HOUSE YOU WOKE UP TO NOW IS SET WITH BOOBIE TRAPS FOR BARE FEET!
  • YOU’RE ASKING YOURSELF, “HOW THE HELL DID 19 KIDS AND COUNTING DO THAT SHIT? I CAN BARELY HANDLE 1!”

Lunch time…

  • He/she sits down to eat, you tried the healthy way cause you started feeling bad that you only feed your child junk food.. He/she tries it… He/she spits it out.. oh no.. TANTRUM!
  • ABORT MISSION I REPEAT ABORT MISSION! GRAB THE CHIPS, GRAB THE NUGGETS, GRAB THE COOKIES!! GET IT ALL!
  • He’s/she’s calm. Phew! Never trying that again.

Nap time…

  • After you lay him/her down for the 500th time and he/she FINALLY falls asleep. You look at that precious angel and he/she is the cutest thing you have ever seen.

My son still takes a 2-3 hour nap. (Without it, his horns grow longer and my patience grow shorter)

However long later they nap for..

  • You decide it’s time to take him/her outside to get some energy out.
  • They find the nastiest thing in the yard, and they, touch it, roll in it, try to eat, and bring it to you for you to taste it.
  • After gagging trying to figure out what the hell it is you decide it’s bath time. If it’s too nasty, grab the hose and spray him/her off.

Bath time…

  • This is your last break from now until bedtime.
  • You can sit and get on fb or whatever social media you use or just chill.
  • Somehow your kids end up with an inch of water left and the outside of the tub looks like a wave just came crashing in. It can never be explained.

After bath time..

You repeat:

  • ALL HELL HAS BROKE LOOSE!
  • TANTRUMS BECAUSE HE CAN’T EAT HIS LITTLE TOYS AGAIN, ANOTHER TANTRUM BECAUSE HE CAN’T NOSE DIVE OFF THE TABLE AGAIN, AND THAT CLEAN HOUSE YOU YOU JUST CLEANED DURING NAP TIME NOW IS SET WITH BOOBIE TRAPS FOR BARE FEET, AGAIN!
  • YOU ARE PRAYING TO WHOEVER YOU PRAY TOO BY THIS POINT THAT YOU DO NOT LOSE IT!

Bedtime…

  • You never thought this time would come!
  • The baby is finally asleep after making 2 bottles/cups, restarting his/her favorite cartoon 15 times, screaming into your pillow, ready to punch your snoring husband, and begging your kid to please just go to sleep!
  • Finally asleep.
  • You stay up late because this is your only time you can do what YOU want to do and eat that midnight snack in peace!

Morning…

  • You regret staying up so late.and you do this mom/dad life ALL OVER AGAIN!

Now i’m not saying being a mom/dad is the worst thing ever! I’m saying being a mom/dad is the HARDEST thing ever! Nobody can never really tell you the amount of patience you need as your child gets older. Now that I have told you the hard times there are those rare moments where you get the good part of your toddler.

  • They start saying stuff that makes sense
  • They get really excited about little things, which also makes you excited
  • They give you random hugs and kisses
  • They still want to be babied sometimes
  • They truly enjoy life and show you what’s important
  • They can show you what they want
  • They have BIG feelings

The most important thing is to enjoy this time because, as hard as it is, it truly does go by too fast. That baby talk turns into sentences and next thing you know they are teenagers and they hate you. So slow down, enjoy life, take that extra 5 minutes and give him/her those kisses or just spend time with them on the floor. The house will always be there but these little moments will not.

Also, remember it’s okay to not feed them everything organic. It’s okay to want to punch your kid in the face sometimes. (As long as you don’t do it, THAT IS NOT OKAY!) It’s okay to feel like your losing it and need a break, don’t feel bad YOU DESERVE IT! It’s okay to not do everything, like taking them to the zoo, the beach, and everything everybody else seems to be doing. They don’t care. They just want to be with you and want you to be happy. It’s okay to not have a set routine. It’s okay that your kid doesn’t talk or do as much as the other kid. ALL kids are different and learn at their own pace. So, let your kid learn/walk/talk at his/her pace.

Don’t let anyone tell you, you are doing anything wrong. As long as you are doing things with the best interest of the child you are doing right! We are all different and have different parenting ways!

The other day I had to rush my husband to the hospital (he’s okay, it was kidney stones) and I didn’t have time to put pants or shoes on my son so he was in a diaper, a dirty shirt, and stuff all over his face (we had just eaten dinner). After getting my husband checked in and realizing how bad my son looked I started freaking out because I was so scared of the people around me thinking I am a bad mom for not having my child properly dressed. As I am sitting there watching my son not give a shit about the people around him I start thinking if he don’t care why do I care so much? They may be young but they can teach you so much about life.

For those JUDGY MOMS, you know who you are, judging other moms for doing things different or judging them because there kids don’t look “put together” that day. You don’t know what that mom had to get through that day just to get to where she was so you can SCREW OFF. Us moms have to stick together and support each other.

For those who like to stare at a restaurant, at wal-mart, or any public place, while a kid is throwing a tantrum you can double SCREW OFF! I understand the sympathy stares but the stares where you can feel them thinking, “can you shut that kid up?” Makes me want to tie them up and put kid tantrum on replay to torture them. SO STOP STARING, I PROMISE THE PARENT FEELS ANXIOUS ENOUGH WHILE HIS/HER KID IS THROWING A FIT AND DON’T NEED YOU GLARING AT THEM!

So forget everybody else, and enjoy your toddler now. Even though it may not seem like it, but you will miss those toddler talks, those little kisses and those little hands. Try to enjoy the little moments. Here is my little hellion getting through the day.

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2 Comments

  1. Sara

    September 19, 2017 at 4:05 pm

    Beautiful article. I thought we would never survive the toddler years and now I miss them…I think. We did survive…barely and we’re in preschool now with Kindergarten just around the corner. When I see articles like this usually there is the parent upset about kids being called assholes. They are assholes but we would not give them up for anything! There are days where I think I would pay someone to take my child but I would jump in front of a bus without a moment’s hesitation to save his ornery butt. I tell him he’s a pain in the touche/toushe(?) and he drives me bananas. He tells me the same and then we give big huggs and kisses and laugh. Parenting is hard and these years are really hard. I was amazed to see him turn 3.5 or 4 and get immensely easier. Trust that we still have our moments. I just don’t have to be within arms lenth so he doesn’t run through the park and fall in the pond. I haven’t had to chase him through Walmart in a good year. Damn he’s fast and everyone around always thought it was so funny. Not funny! When I see a kid javing a meltdow in a store, I smile to myself and thank god it’s not my child this time. We all need to learn to support and not judge!!!

    1. @momuncensored

      September 19, 2017 at 8:05 pm

      This is so true!! Thank you for sharing! As I’m typing this I’m fighting off my 2 year old. 😂 They can definitely be little hellions and drive me to my most craziest point but can also melt my heart faster than a burning flame. 😍 I always think of the hunger games symbol when I see another mom dealing with a crying child in a store. 🤣 Let us moms stick together and try to make it out of this #momlife with most of our sanity!

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